About Us

There are four of Them: three girls and one boy, little stair-steps all. There are two of Us: best friends, co-parents and truly in love. The Six of us have epic adventures full of laughter and love, occasionally containing tears, but always together.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

First Day of Kindergarten!!!

Oh my goodness. Today I sent Miss Elie on the school bus for the Very First Time. Here's how she looked before we sent her. She got all dressed up in her new shoes and a new outfit. She looked so grown up. We went out for the bus and waited. When it came, she walked across the street, around the front of the bus and got right on. I don't think she even looked back. Yes, there were some tears on my part. And Talia did not understand that Elie had gotten on the bus and wasn't coming home until later. She kept asking where Elie was and was a bit upset when we walked back to the house and Elie wasn't with us. The four of us had a nice quiet morning; playing outside and reading. Then all of a sudden it was time to go out and pick up Elie from the bus. And it felt mostly normal.

When we came inside she was crying because the little boy she happened to be sitting next to had not been able to get off the bus because his mommy had not been there to get him. "Eric was crying because his mommy was not there. He said he thought maybe she was out shopping." She was so very upset because Eric was so upset. I told her that they would take him back to school and they would call his mommy on her cell phone and she would go to the school and get him. When I explained what would happen, she calmed down. Then she let little bits of description about her day fall out, trailing around and describing activities and experiences. Somethings she would get halfway through and stop "We said the pledge of allegiance, but it was shorter. I'm not sure, I don't know." And other things she explained in great detail, "First you pull one side out and then you pull out the other side. Then you take two opposite corners and pull them gently and then the other two opposite corners. That makes a just right, perfect hole to put a straw in! I can't quite make a small hole yet, but I'm learning. I'm learning." She is excited and ready. Tomorrow holds all sorts of new adventures and experiences. There are people to meet, places to go, lots and lots of information to hoover up and store forever.

However, I'm still feeling sort of ambivalent, laid back and anxious about school and Kindergarten for Elie. One part of my mind is saying, "Kids are their jobs. They get paid to take care of children and teach them. I haven't heard one bad thing about that school during the two and a half years we've been here. It's not such a big deal for my oldest to be going to kindergarten. It's the natural progression of life. She's ready." The other part of my mind is sitting and crying, shell shocked at how fast the last five years of my life have blown past me. "This is my big girl! She's not ready to be out there without me!!! How will I know what she's been exposed to? How will I know what she's seeing, experiencing and learning? I know she knows what the right thing to do is, but will the world do the right thing to/for her? Have I done enough to get her ready for all this? I'm not ready for all this!"

So there it is. Like most of life's transitions I find myself completely taken unawares. Even though, since the moment she was born, she's been moving away from me. And I know that we've got many more, much bigger transitions to go through, but seeing her walk away from me and get on that big yellow school bus is a transition that has taken me by surprise with its bittersweet taste. She is so big. Does she need me? Oh wait, there's the small, warm hand in mine, the gaze upwards from her large brown doe eyes, and a hug, a kiss - there she goes, off into the great big world. Off on the big yellow school bus.....

1 comment:

  1. How exciting, OJ! Your little girl looks so TALL in her picture and as pleased as can be to be off to school.

    What a lovely reflection you've written about sending her off to "big school." It sure does go quickly!!

    It seems like only yesterday . . .