The last two nights, for the first time since Elie was born seven years ago, I have been outside of the house. Not only have I been not in the house, I've been several states away from the house where my hubby is EveryParenting our four beautiful children. I have never left any of them over night before. In addition, before now, Dadam has never had them all by himself for more than 12 hours. It's a few days for firsts 'round these parts.
Two years ago a friend of mine had a baby. She worked very hard to breastfeed and for a whole confluence of reasons, was unable to. I could not go to her and help because I was pregnant with Leila and didn't feel like I could up and leave. My friend got pregnant again last June and her due date was in the end of February. I offered to her that I would be more than willing to go to Ohio when she went into labor and help her out with breastfeeding. So, Dadam and I talked about it and we thought that Leila would be down to nursing so little that it would be okay for me to leave. Dadam also said he could take some days off work, so he could be the stay-home-dad.
Well, the baby came earthside on Thursday night and so I hit the highway and drove from NOVA to Dayton. I've been here since, supporting my friend and helping her figure out breastfeeding. It's been a great experience; mom and baby are doing great! But it's also been really, really weird to only be concerned with my own needs.
I don't have anyone hanging on me or asking me to feed them, no one who wants me to read to them or sing with them, I've got no schedule and very few demands. It's not really the amazing experience I sort of expected. Sure, it's nice to be all by myself, with only me to worry about. But I also feel like I'm missing a limb or something really, really important. For seven years now, I've been at the beck and call of these little people for an overwhelming majority of the time. It's so odd to instantaneously step completely out of that role. It makes me, well, more than a little sad.
I'm glad that I came out here to help. I'm thrilled that my wonderful husband and amazing Dadam was so supportive of me wanting to come out and help. I'm glad that I had a little break and I feel refreshed and refocused. I'll be happy to go home and sqeeze my beebees and go back to being The Mom.