I have been basking in the absolute-beauty-full-of-life-glow that my children all seem to give off.
I am sometimes concerned that this will one day disappear; they might grow too big and overnight they will no longer hold that magic. I want to hold on to them and freeze them just as they are, so curious, so bright, so full of love.
The pathology report scares me. I prayed that there would be no cancer, that the nodule that was growing would prove to be just an ordinary growth that sometimes happens on thyroids. But it wasn't. It was cancer, a tiny bit, but there nonetheless. And all of a sudden I feel like I can no longer ignore the seriousness of the facts. I am scared for the future. The good news that it was all well contained feels like a paltry second-place-prize. The truth is that it worries me.
And how to resolve these feelings that what I have should not cause me to worry about the finality of cancer; what I have is so "curable" and "survivable" and "easy".
Alright then, head up, time to wipe the tears and move on. None of us knows how long we have here. I'm off to bask in the glow of life.